“Silence has become a thing of mine now.”
God is truly testing my patience after I got married, and the lengths of me staying silent. But it’s okay I guess – sacrificing the will to speak my heart, being some other person who I am not, thinking twice every single thing before speaking, changing lifestyle, changing routines, asking for permission to do something so small. After changing my entire self – I am still an outsider! My opinions, my independence, and my true self is just a thing of the past because silence is a thing of mine now.
For an Indian girl, leaving her home after marriage and settling down in a joint family, is the biggest change of her life. What she was and what she has to be after the marriage is a big thing. She has to change her routine, her habits, her job, her hobbies, and so far so, her opinions and decisions. She zips her voice, she has to voice her likes and dislikes through her husband, all because the “decorum” of the home should be maintained.
I always knew being a woman is difficult, but was unaware of the big change that will be happening in my life after getting married. It’s not like one cannot be happy in a joint family or a good marriage. There are good moments and special memories are created. There are pros to it as well, but as an individual, there is no home I can call my own.
It’s my in-law’s home and the other home is my parent’s home. Nothing is mine, a nomad, just serving the family. So, the silence is what keeps me sane and a dream to build a home of mine, where I scream, laugh, and just be ME.
“What gave me peace ultimately,
was the sound of rain
on a Wednesday afternoon.
Snatching away a moment from work,
thinking the truth about pain,
all the hatred, resentments, questions
for all those who hurt me – thinking –
we are all the same when it comes to pain.
Peace came to me as I forgave all
on a Wednesday afternoon while watching the rain.”
Everyone has their own struggle and goes through pain. From time to time I take time to look back to the moments and people who have hurt me in the past. And I forgive them. Eventually, forgiveness is what brings you to an acceptance of what life is, what people are, and what is your reflection towards them.
Hope you do take time and forgive those who have wronged you, and accept the past.
P.S: Forgiving does not mean forgetting, instead it is acceptance and moving on.
…until next time
Love is an endless ocean,
an unanswerable question,
a never-ending story,
a feeling known to all, different to each,
beauty, peace, hurt, lifeline, purpose – everything.
No one can understand love truly, yet everyone knows it, craves it, and feels it.
It is the foundation of all good relationships and one should always find ways to express their love not just in words but gestures.
Few ways one expresses their love towards another:
- Gifting the thing one has been longing for.
- Doing small chores and helping out.
- Spontaneous dates and meetings.
- Listening intently even if not agreeing.
- No conditions and boundations.
- Moving out of the comfort zone.
- Changing behaviour and habits.
- Dropping random calls, messages or notes.
- Trying out new things together.
- Being there in difficult times, in failure, in sadness, and in happiness.
Love comes effortlessly when it shines from within. Love is not all about saying “I love you” but showing it.
Express it. Show it. Spread it.
…until next time